If you’re in the middle of wedding planning, you’ve probably found yourself Googling, “Should I do a first look?” — and for good reason. This single choice can impact your wedding timeline, the energy of your day, and even the photos you’ll cherish for a lifetime.
As a New Jersey wedding planner who specializes in high-end celebrations, we’ve guided countless couples through this decision. Here’s an honest look at the wedding first look pros and cons, along with practical advice rooted in real experience planning weddings throughout New Jersey’s most stunning venues.
What is a First Look, Exactly?
A first look is a private moment staged before the ceremony where the couple sees each other for the first time, often captured by their photographer and videographer.
Traditionally, the reveal happens as the bride walks down the aisle, but modern couples are rethinking this moment — prioritizing intimacy, practicality, and even creativity.
So: should I do a first look? Let’s explore.
The Pros of Doing a First Look
1. More Time Together on Your Wedding Day
Wedding days move fast. Couples who opt for a first look often say it gave them the chance to connect, breathe, and soak in the excitement — just the two of them — before stepping into the spotlight.
As a New Jersey wedding planner, we see couples feel instantly calmer after the first look. It’s like the nerves melt away once they’re together.
2. Better Photos (and More of Them)
One of the biggest NJ wedding photography tips we share: first looks can dramatically expand your photo timeline.
You can capture:
- Couple portraits
- Wedding party photos
- Family formals
Before the ceremony even begins.
That way, your cocktail hour is free to enjoy — not filled with posed photos.
3. Lighting Advantage
New Jersey weddings often happen in the late afternoon or evening. A first look allows your photographer to capture photos earlier in the day, often in the best natural light.
For winter weddings, when the sun sets early, a first look can mean the difference between warm, natural portraits and after-dark flash photography.
4. A Private, Emotional Moment
Couples often feel pressure with hundreds of eyes on them at the ceremony. A first look creates a calm, private moment to laugh, cry, or simply be together — something that’s harder to do at the altar.
Many couples later say this was their favorite memory of the entire day.
5. Eases Timeline Pressure
As a planner, we see timelines run late all the time — traffic, hair and makeup delays, unexpected weather. Having your couple photos done earlier builds a cushion into your day, making everything feel less rushed.
The Cons of Doing a First Look
1. It Breaks Tradition
For some couples, seeing each other at the ceremony is a once-in-a-lifetime, deeply meaningful tradition.
If you’ve dreamed of that aisle reveal your whole life, a first look might take away from that emotional crescendo.
2. Earlier Start Time
First looks require you, your partner, and your wedding party to be ready earlier in the day — sometimes hours earlier.
This can mean:
- A longer day in formalwear
- An earlier wake-up call for hair & makeup
- Less downtime before guests arrive
3. The Ceremony Moment Feels Different
Some couples worry the walk down the aisle will feel less impactful after a first look.
From experience, we can say it usually still feels incredibly special — the setting, music, and guests change the energy completely — but it’s a personal call.
4. Weather & Venue Logistics
For outdoor New Jersey weddings, especially in spring and fall, weather is unpredictable.
Planning an outdoor first look might require a backup indoor location, extra coordination with photographers, and can add complexity to your timeline.
NJ Wedding Photography Tips for First Looks
If you decide to do a first look, here are some high-end planner and photographer-approved tips to make it seamless:
- Choose the right location: Private, shaded spots with clean backgrounds photograph best. Many New Jersey venues — like Park Chateau, Ryland Inn, or Pleasantdale Château — have dedicated first look gardens or courtyards.
- Plan extra time: Build at least 30–45 minutes for the first look and immediate couple portraits.
- Communicate clearly: Let your photographer, videographer, and planner know what emotional moments matter most to you.
- Keep your wedding party away (at first): Start with just the two of you, then bring in bridesmaids, groomsmen, or family for reactions.
Modern Wedding Planning Tips: Making the Choice
If you’re still asking, “should I do a first look?” — start by asking yourselves:
- Do we value tradition, or is a calm, private moment more important to us?
- Do we want to join cocktail hour?
- Is photography a top priority?
- Are we having a winter wedding or evening ceremony?
- Do we both feel strongly, or is one of us more flexible?
There’s no wrong answer — the best choice is the one that feels right for you.
New Jersey Wedding Planner Advice: What We Recommend Most
After planning hundreds of high-end weddings across New Jersey, here’s our balanced advice:
- If you have a large wedding party, tight timeline, or winter ceremony → a first look is usually the best choice.
- If your heart is set on the aisle reveal, but you want more photos → consider a “partial first look” (e.g., holding hands around a door, reading vows back-to-back, or a father-daughter first look instead).
Either way, build breathing space into your timeline. Even the most beautiful moments feel stressful when rushed.
To Put A Bow On It!
So — should I do a first look?
It comes down to what feels authentic to your story.
A first look can be emotional, practical, and photo-friendly — but it isn’t right for everyone.
As planners, our role isn’t to convince you either way, but to help you make an informed choice — and create a wedding day that feels calm, joyful, and unmistakably you.
If you’re planning your own New Jersey wedding and want personalized advice — or help designing a timeline that works perfectly for you — let’s connect.
Because the best wedding days aren’t just about what happens — they’re about how you feel while it’s happening.
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